Look what IIIIII did...

Neptune Days:

>>tat…ratatat…tat…ratatat…tat…ratatat tat..<<

It was around 7 30 in the morning when the lovely sound of the drums blessed my eardrums and awakened me from my blissful sleep. Had I not been forewarned of today’s events I probably would have proceeded to grab the nearest weapon (which would have ended up being my computer or a flip-flop, both very unfortunate choices in the case of a real emergency) and start flailing, taking out anyone that was trying to bash my head in. However…the drum beats were expected, and even though they came a bit early on a no-school-day, they were welcomed…they were the start of the amazing day to come.

I sprang from bed with a grin on my face and got ready in a timely manner. The agenda: eat breakfast, and see what the crew has planned for us…it IS NEPTUNE DAY. Background: King Neptune is the King of the oceans and the seas…he rules all. He is generally a pretty nice guy, but when you cross the equator, he can sometimes be very angry with you. In order to have safe passage through the oceans you can’t piss off Neptune so…you have to pay homage (yes dad…kind of like to the big black bird…only way cooler). Homage consists of…a little mess, a little fun, and a little sacrifice. More to come on that in a bit.

I met up with Baby Dan for breakfast and Team Bauer joined us shortly after. I had the breakfast of champions…English muffin with peanut butter and jelly. Have you ever seen the movie Supersize Me? I haven’t…but I have heard that the guy gets addicted to the McDonald’s because he eats so much of it…I wonder if that can happen with peanut butter and jelly…I do seem to be eating it quite frequently these days…nobody mess with my PB and J…there will be death. Anyway…my roomie came into the picture at some point and we had a heated discussion on how she would basically be ruining the future of everyone in the world if she did not participate in the Neptune Day activities, but, alas…she wasn’t feeling it…for everyone in the future generations…you are doomed…for this I apologize.

We went up to the top deck and ended up with front row seats for the festivities…it was fantastic. Captain Jeremy was King Neptune, painted green from head to toe…all the crew was playing drums and the deans were dressed up as well. It was a funny sight…oh and a little ps for you…we didn’t have time to celebrate Neptune Day when we crossed the equator, so it was postponed until today…this pissed off Neptune to none other so we had to go the extra mile on the homage…here we go:

The ‘little mess’ of the homage refers to getting rotten milk mixed with other things poured over your head, and then jumping into a saltwater pool. Luckily, I was one of the first to go so I didn’t have to deal with saltwater plus rotten milk in the pool…thank you, baby God.

‘Little Fun” refers to making out with (and by making out, and mean a closed mouth peck) two stinky fish, and then kneeling down to king Neptune and kissing his ring. If he deems you unworthy, he shoves you back into the pool and you go all over again. Annnnnnd FINALLY…the ‘little sacrifice’…

Yes my friends...I shaved my head…I had to do it you see…to guarantee that we have a safe voyage across the seas…it was my contribution to the good of all of mankind…and when I say all of mankind, I mean the ship. Here’s the juice:

After the rotten milk and the saltwater, the hair was officially nasty, but I had to wait for it to dry to shave it off. PSà I have been planning on doing this since before I left Medford…heh…SURPISE! Heh…(nervous laughter…)…So we were waiting in line…and by we I mean Wendell (wendy), Captain (she was shaving Wendell), myself, and Baby Jesus (Jordi) who was given the task of shaving my head. We got to the front of the line…my heart was pounding..AND!...all the clippers blew a fuse. Dammit. More waiting. It turned out that the clippers never really started working again, so we pulled up some chairs and Baby Jesus went to town with some scissors. Yes, I have pictures…actually…Team Bauer has pictures…either way, you will see more eventually.

So…back to Baby Jesus…she chopped as much of my hair off as possible…(Captain was going to work on Wendell right next to me…yah…we held hands), and then it was more waiting for some dang clippers. My buddy Victor informed me that he was going down to his room to use his friend’s clippers and said we were more than welcome to join…yah we jumped on that like a fat kid jumps on a rice krispy treat. Me, Team Bauer, and Wendell went down for the head shaving, while Piano Man, Baby Jesus, and Captain came to watch. Brandon (the already bic-ed bald guy) was the barber for the day and shaved us all up nice and neat. It was a fantastic experience and I love my hair…I don’t feel ugly, manish, dykish, or any other –ish you can think of. Those of you at home…

Mom…don’t cry…I love it
Dad…now we are twins…baldies for life
Stevie & Micah…c’mon now…it’s what jack would have done
Cass…you’re next! Haha
James…stop having a hernia…it WILL grow back

So after the demise of my beautiful hair (I really do have pretty hair I realized…after holding it in my hand and examining it), my day has been full of head rubs and hugs…I AM NOT COMPLAINING PEOPLE! Life is GOOD! We had a BBQ on the deck today…I love BBQ’s. Ribs and burgers…ohhhhh baby…that equals my heaven. Then add a beautiful day, followed by a beautiful sunset and great times with my fantastic friends and this day has been phenomenal. I do believe that King Neptune was satisfied…36 girls ended up shaving their heads, along with a lot of boys…I don’t know the exact amount, but there are definitely a lot of baldies around here. That’s about it for Neptune Day…homage was paid, and now we shall have a safe voyage around the world…let’s hope at least…cross your fingers everyone.